In grad school we were taught to analyze, question, and research. When it comes to my life at times I take what I have learned in grad school and apply it to God. I analyze the situation I am in, wondering why things are happening, or why they aren’t happening, wondering what my life will look like in a few years, wondering especially if I will ever be done with school. I question God. I ask Him, “Why are you opening this door? Why are you closing that door? When is this going to happen? Why did this happen? How is this going to turn out? ???????????????????? Sometimes my mind is so full of question marks.
Last week was no different, and Proverbs 3:5 really struck me. The verse tells me to “trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not to your own understanding.” WOW! In other words my analysis, questioning and research needs to stop. God is not my professor at UC Davis. He is not telling me to research the situation. He is not telling me to analyze why doors are opening and others are closing. He is not telling me to question why He is allowing certain things to happen and not allowing others to take place. He is telling me to lean not to my own understanding.
Ok so what is the point of all of this? Why am I writing this blog? I give this illustration because last week in prayer, I was telling God that I wanted Him to have control over my life. And that I would place my life in His hands. And then Proverbs 3:5 came to my mind. And I began quoting that scripture over and over; especially the part that says for me to lean not to my own understanding. I was telling God that I wanted to not lean to my own understanding. I wanted to not worry and wonder about certain things in life. For me this is kind of hard; especially when it comes to school. I have been in college since I was 18 and I am going to be 28 this year. 10 years of higher education. That would be great if I was going to be a medical doctor, but my goal in life has changed so many times, consequently my educational road has gotten longer and longer. And it is hard at times to lean not to my own understanding. It is hard at times to not wonder when I am going to finish school, when I am going to get a good job, when I am going to…… In fact, a couple of weeks ago I made my brother and sister go with me to look at model homes. And I pretended in my mind that I could afford one of them. I pretended that I had a nice paying job, and that I was done with school and that I was seriously able to afford those homes. I had to pretend, because the reality is far different. And so when it comes to my educational road I definitely find it hard to lean not to my own understanding.
After praying this prayer of giving control to God and leaning not to my own understanding throughout every day of the week, I made my way to work in Newman and Friday and I got stuck behind the slowest driver. I cannot overemphasize nor am I exaggerating when I say how slow this driver was driving. And I was stuck behind him, with no way to go around. In every situation I find myself in, I try to see if the Lord can speak to me and what I gained will be the focus of the rest of this blog.
I was in a hurry on Friday. I had to be at work at a certain time and the way this driver was going, I was definitely not going to make it. I am not the type to get road rage, but this individual was taking his sweet time, enjoying the scenery, drinking his coffee, listening to his music, and I was in a hurry. I began to realize that in life I am like that with God. Sometimes I think of God as the driver who is going to slow and I am like, “God I have been on this road for so long, do you think we can hurry it up?” Sometimes I am like “God I think it is time that we rush through this section of my life, so I can begin the next section.” I don’t know if I am the only one to do this. The thing is that God is the driver and His word says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways saith the Lord.” In other words, while we may think He is going too slow, God is saying “I am going at just the right speed. I will allow things to happen, when I want them to happen.” In other words, Lean not to your own understanding. We can’t rush God, nor should we try.
Not only was this individual driving incredibly slow, but I could see that there were no cars in front of him. Absolutely no cars. The road was as clear as it could be. Literally, it was me and him. Nothing was hindering this guy from pressing on the gas a little more, yet he continued to drive slow. I kind of got the impression that he knew I was in a hurry and was taking his time to frustrate me. In life, I think we can at times think the coast is clear. We think that doors should be opened, or things should already be happening, and when they don’t we question God and we tell Him, “God the road is clear.” Our questions pile up because to our natural eyes the road is clear, there is nothing in the way. But when we question Him, we fail to realize that it is not how we see things that matter it is how God sees things that count. And we fail to lean not to our own understanding.
I don’t know if it appears like God is driving too slow in certain areas of your life. Women who are having trouble conceiving might think that God is driving too slow. A person looking for a job might think God is driving too slow. An individual trying to sell their house to no avail might think God is driving too slow. A person stuck in a trial might think God is driving too slow. Someone waiting for a healing might think God is driving too slow. Someone waiting for God to bring their loved one back to Him might think God is driving too slow. And a person who has spent the last ten years going to college might think God is driving too slow J. I don’t know what your prayer has been and I don’t know if like me you are at times having trouble leaning not to your own understanding. I don’t know if you analyze, question and research. I want you to know, as I let myself know, that God will take you down the route He wants you to go. He will lead you to place He has in store for you. He will open up the doors that you have been praying about. It might take longer to get there than you would have wished, but when God is the driver you can guarantee you will get there and it will happen.
I must confess; I did not make it to prayer this morning. My alarm went off at 5:10 and I looked at it, and then I said “30 more minutes, I just need 30 more minutes of sleep. 30 more minutes to lay in my warm bed. 30 more minutes to have my eyes closed.” 30 more minutes sounded so good. And so instead of getting up to go to prayer, I ended up taking 60 more minutes to sleep before getting ready for work.
As I lay in bed, feeling guilty because I was not going to make it to prayer, I began thinking and wondering if God ever says that to us. “30 more minutes.” I wonder if while we are praying in the morning, or talking to him in the evening, if He ever tells us ‘just give me 30 more minutes. 30 more minutes of you devoting yourself to me. 30 more minutes of you talking to me. 30 more minutes of you spending time in my presence. 30 more minutes of you just sitting quietly before my throne. 30 more minutes of you just resting your head on my shoulder. 30 more minutes of you just listening to my still voice. 30 more minutes.”
Sometimes 30 minutes appears to be a lot. We are on deadlines, we have schedules. We have to be at work or at school at certain times. And so 30 more minutes we sometimes don’t feel like we can give that. And we tell God “I can’t give you 30 more minutes.”
This morning, I will be honest, that extra 60 minutes I spent sleeping, it felt so good. That extra 60 minutes I spent wrapped in blankets it was awesome. When my alarm went off after that time I was refreshed. I was ready for the rest of the day. 60 minutes made a huge difference. And I know that if we gave God that extra “30 minutes” we would feel the same. That extra “30 minutes” of worshipping Him. That extra “30 minutes” of praising Him. That extra “30 minutes “of just sitting silently before Him. We would leave feeling refreshed. We would leave feeling renewed. I know I was challenged this morning. I was challenged to give God “30 more minutes.” In the literal sense, I was challenged that some days I should get up a littler earlier and give more time to pray than I usually do. That some mornings I should give a literal “30 more minutes.” But “30 more minutes” can be figurative as well. I was challenged to give God more worship, more praise, more adoration. I was challenged to give Him more time where I just sit and listen, and don’t talk (and I sometimes find that hard when I am praying)
“30 more minutes” it seems like a lot, but makes a huge differnece. Let’s give God “30 more minutes”