I think I can safely say that we all have insecurities. There is probably at least one thing about you that if given the chance you would change. I know for myself, I tend to be incredibly shy. I will always remember an evaluation a professor in graduate school gave to me. He said that while He enjoyed my papers that I turned in, my shyness exasperated him. Exasperated; that is a strong word. There have been many prayers I have offered to God asking Him why He created me as shy as He did. I am not a naturally social person. In fact, during seminars in graduate school, I would often have to have a little conversation in my head before class (I hope I am not the only one who has had conversations with themselves in their head). I would tell myself ‘Kimberli you have to speak at least three times during seminar today.’ And I would literally count the number of times I spoke and once I hit three times, I would not say another word during the course of the seminar. A little embarrassing to admit, but my insecurities definitely lie in my shyness.
I gave this illustration because God can use you in areas that you would never have picked. I am amazed that Ben ever gave me a chance to speak. When I first moved to
I think of King David, who is my favorite person in the Bible to study, if anyone could have insecurities it was him. The youngest child, David’s own father did not even think he could be the next king. Yet that is who God used. Moses, he did not have the ability to speak, but God was telling him, ‘it is your voice I want to use.’ So many other examples of people in the Bible who God used regardless of their own insecurities.
I don’t know what God is planning on doing through you. I don’t know the plans He has for your life. I don’t know the things He wants to do. But I want to encourage you not to let your insecurities get in the way. God might just have something that you would never have picked for yourself. And so I encourage you if someone asks you to do something, do it. It is so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. God has created each of us perfect, He has made no mistakes. Sometimes we look at certain individuals and we say ‘wow, I could never be like that, I could never do what they are doing as good as they do it.’ And in doing so, we minimize the beauty of ourselves. I want to encourage you, as I encourage myself, to let go of your insecurities. If you have been asked to speak, even if you are shy, I encourage you to speak. If you have been asked to lead a ministry, even if you have never led a ministry, I encourage you to lead. If you have been asked to teach Sunday School, even if you don’t feel you know enough of the Bible, I encourage you to lead Bible Study.
I also want to encourage those who are trying to find your place in God. Maybe you have so many hidden insecurities; you don’t know how God can ever use you. I pray that my example serves as encouragement to you. When I was 18 I would never have said that God was going to use my voice. I was so shy. Yet here I am almost 27 and that is what God has done. God used me in an area I would never have imagined. God can use you too in an area that you would never have picked for yourself. And the awesome thing is that in the end God gets all the glory, and you will never forget that it was He who brought you to the place that He did.
Lord we come before you so honored that you would even know our name. In this world there are millions upon millions of people, but you know every hair on our head. You know our thoughts, you know our worries, you know our desires, and you know our needs. It is such a privilege to be called a child of the King. God you are our everything. We are completely lost without you. Above everything our desire is you. Lord we thank you for protecting us, protecting us from danger, protecting us from illness, protecting us from hurts. Lord we thank you for seeing past our faults, seeing past our mistakes. Lord we thank you because there are times when doubt, and insecurity cloud the child you have created us. Your Word tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and it tells us that before we were in our mother’s womb you knew us. And we thank you for that. Lord we can’t love you enough, we can’t praise you enough, and words can’t describe what you mean to us. You are all that we need, all that we want, all that we desire. Without you, our life would be meaningless. God it amazes us that you care about each and every one of us. It amazes us that you know the plans and the purpose for our life. We might all go down different roads, we might all do different things, but the things you have for each and every one of us is so great. We can’t love you enough God.
Lord let your light shine so brightly through us. Let us be the oracle for you. We might not know whose life we are impacting, but God minister through us. Help us smile at the lady in the grocery store, she might be feeling lonely and our smile is what is going to get her through. Help us laugh with our co-worker, they might be going through an incredibly difficult time, but laughter is all that they need. Help us ask our neighbor if they need prayer, they might be having marital problems, and have been searching for someone to pray for them. Help us go up to that widow, she might be incredibly lonely right now, and just needs to know that someone loves her. Lord place people in our hearts for us to pray for them. You know the young person who is crying themselves to sleep because they can’t get over their past, you know the mother who is worried about her son but who smiles to mask the pain, you know the wife whose husband is not serving you, you know everyone’s needs. Lord we don’t need to know what they are going through, but daily place people in our thoughts, people we can send cards to, people we can call, people we can email just to let them know that we are there for them and that we are praying for them. Lord help us forgive those who have wronged us. You forgave those who crucified you and so help us forgive those who have hurt us. God remove those scars that are embedded in our heart. The pains and the hurts that have built up over the years, remove them. Lord help us not to worry about the things we can not control. Help us trust in your perfect plan and will. Help us smile when we are full of sorrow. Help us laugh when we are full of pain.
Lord help us to live for you more and more each day. Let each day be a day of praise and of thanksgiving. Let us remember each day who we serve. Lord a day should not go by where we don’t devote time to you. Sometimes our work, our school, our commitments take over and we don’t give you the time you deserve. We go about our life and we forget to seek you, we forget to call you, we forget to abide in your presence. Lord help us each day carve some time out for you. Help us make you our priority. Lord help us remember that you are our master, you are our saviour, you are our helper, you are our deliverer, you are our healer, you are our rock, you are our salvation, you are our guiding light.
Philippians 1:3-4 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy
I love this scripture. I love reading the letters that Paul wrote to the various churches because in many of them he informs the people that he is praying for them. I think that is so awesome and so essential. Sometimes we get bogged down with our own problems and our own situations and many times our prayers are consumed with our needs. But Paul is a great example of how a Christian should be. He was imprisoned, threatened with death and faced so many tribulations, yet he took time to pray for others. I think that is a lesson we should all apply to our own life. Even in the midst of our trials, even in the midst of our situations make time to say a prayer for someone we know. They don’t even have to be going through something, but pray that God would always guide them in their decisions, pray that they will always trust in the Lord, pray that they will continue to walk in the Truth, pray that God would bless them, pray that God would use them, pray that God would do great things through in them.
The second reason why I love this scripture is because Paul not only prayed for the people, but he let them know that he was praying for them. There is a scripture I believe in Proverbs that I love; it tells us that there is life and death in the power of the tongue. I love this scripture because we have the ability to bring life to someone just by the words we speak. So often we are quick to criticize, quick to pass judgment, quick to condemn. It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear of people who have nothing but negative things to say.But we have the ability to bring life rather than death.
Having said all of this I have a challenge for each of us this upcoming week. I encourage us to be like Paul, not only to intercede for people but to let people know that we are praying for them. They might not be going through anything, they might not be facing a trial, but just to know that someone is praying for them is encouragement enough. Rather than using our tongue to bring death to someone, I encourage you this week to send a card to someone, write a short email, give someone a call and let them know you appreciate all that they do and that they are in your prayers.
I think Paul is such a great example because he prayed for people. I think intercessory prayer is so important and so crucial. Sometimes we get caught up in the titles and the spotlight and we think that is what matters. In my prayers, I daily tell God if He never uses my voice to give another conference I am okay with that, I would rather intercede for the needs of people, I would rather send cards of encouragement, I would rather send emails than speak in front of many. This week our challenge (and I am going to partake in it as well) is to send at least five emails, cards or phone calls and let someone know that you are praying for them and that you appreciate them.
Bro Ben often says: If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He listens. He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose your heart. Face it, friend-He is crazy about you!” I think that is so awesome, and I want to briefly encourage you. God loves you. Not only does He love you, He sees in you what you can not see. I often am amazed at what God has done in my life. Not because I seek after title or position or anything like that. I am amazed that God uses my voice, because I consider myself the shyest person. I remember when I first moved to Modesto how incredibly quiet I was, and even now, although I interact with people, naturally I am incredibly quiet. But God saw something in me that I could not see. If you only knew the insecurities that I deal with on a daily basis, there are many, but I am amazed that God sees in me what I can not see.
I don’t know if no one has ever told you that they love you. I don’t know if your whole life you have been fed only negative feedback. I don’t know if someone has told you that you are not good enough. I don’t know if someone has told you that you can’t make it. I don’t know if you have been molested. I don’t know if you have been physically abused. I don’t know if you have engaged in premarital sex. I don’t know if you have gone to the clubs. I don’t know if you have done things you should not have done . But I want to let you know that God loves you. I want to let you know that you are so special to Him. I want you to know that He knows your name. He created you. You might think that you have no purpose but God says there is a purpose that lies within you. You might think that you are no one special, but God is saying ‘if you only knew how dear you are to me.’ I think He probably says ‘if you only knew the smile that comes across my face when I think of you.’
Don’t let your past dictate your future. Don’t let what other people have told you get you down. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t let insecurities keep you from seeing what God sees in you. Remember that you are special. Remember that you have a purpose. Remember that there is greatness that resides in you. Remember that God loves you. Remember: If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He listens. He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose your heart. Face it, friend-He is crazy about you!”
Well school for me is almost over. As I look over the year and what I have done I realize that I did not accomplish anything I set out to do this year. I had three goals: write my minor field, take my qualifying exams and defend my prospectus. Unfortunately I did not complete any of those things.
In October my goal was to be ABD by the end of June. I was going to focus solely on school. That was my priority. Unfortunately, other things distracted me, and school became overwhelming so instead of being productive I let the stress of what I had to do get to me and now it is June I realize that none of my goals got accomplished. I say this because in the spiritual sense we might have had goals this year to get closer to God or to do certain things for Him. In January we might have said ‘this year I am going to pray more, I am going to read the Bible more, I am going to get closer to God.’ We might have said ‘I am going to lead Bible Studies, take a young person out to eat every month, come to prayer in the morning once a week.’ Yet now that it is June we look back and we say, ‘I am not reading the Bible as much as I should, I am not praying as much as I should, and I am in the same place relationship wise with God that I was in January.’ We might be saying ‘I did not take one young person out to eat, I didn’t even make it to prayer once a month.’ And we get discouraged. We can even think that we are the biggest losers for not accomplishing our goals.
But God does not see us that way. Rather than saying ‘I did not accomplish anything I set out to do,’ and rather than condemning yourself for the mistakes you have made this year, rather than seeing the glass as half empty (or the year as half over) see it as half full (as six more months to go). Rather than saying ‘I did not go to the church once this year to pray,’ say ‘this week I am going to try to make it.’ Rather than saying ‘I did not read my Bible as much as I should have,’ say, ‘this week I am going to call an accountability partner and I am going to start reading more of the Word.’ Rather than saying ‘I did not lead any Bible Studies,’ say ‘I am going to call Pastor or Bro. Ben and ask them if I can lead a small group.’ Rather than saying ‘I did not clean a widow’s house like I purposed,’ say ‘I am going to call a sister tomorrow and on Saturday I am going to clean their house.’ Rather than feeling like you did not do anything, think of what you still can do.
I let the stress get to me and I ended up not being as productive academically as I should. It got to the point that in March I was like ‘Well I have not accomplished anything yet, so I might as well stop fooling myself and stop trying.’ It might be that you are thinking that as well. That you are thinking that because it is already June and you have not done what you should have, that you might as well stop trying. God wants us to admit that we have not been as consistent as we should. He wants us to tell Him that we got our priorities messed up. He wants us to tell Him that we recognize that we have not accomplished our goals. But He wants us to continue to draw closer to Him. He is not condemning us for not praying as much as we should, or for not reading His word as much as we should. He is saying the opportunity is still here. It is not too late. So think of the glass as half full and those goals that you had in January, strive to meet them.