In the book of Isaiah God asks “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” If this question came at the end of a help wanted ad it might read something like this: “Looking for someone to work long, hard hours. This person must be willing to endure persecution, ridicule and loneliness. They must be willing to travel wherever the boss sends them. They must be willing to have their family, friends, co-workers, and classmates turn their back on them. This person will work without recognition, without esteem, and without acclaim. Much of what they do will be unappreciated.” When read that way, who would be willing to answer the ad?
Yet, when God asked the question “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Isaiah said “Here I am Lord, send me!” He was willing to do whatever the Lord wanted. Like Isaiah, the early prophets, and the disciples worked without recognition, and they endured mocking and ridicule on a daily basis. They were arrested and scorned. They sought not after acclaim, but they had a desire to do the work of God. There was a price they were willing to pay.
In this generation there are many who are only answering the ad that says: “looking for person who wants the spotlight. This person must enjoy applause, and recognition. They must want to be on a pedestal and platform. They need to be unwilling to do anything that will not go noticed. They need to think they are better than everyone who does not have a title or position.” Many in this generation are unwilling to answer the call of the Lord if it requires them to work without recognition. I think of Isaiah and the early prophets and my heart breaks because they were so unconcerned with title and position, they just wanted to serve God.
I will be transparent, today was kind of a depressing day. It was payday and when I saw the amount of my check, I was a little upset. I don’t make that much money. I was upset because I spent years going to college, years working so hard to achieve that degree, and my degree is not financially paying off. I was unsettled within me because of this, so I went to my room to pray. I did not want to feel the way I was feeling. And I as I was praying, and thinking about the amount of money I get paid, I began to think of all that my job entails and the kids that I see. I thought of the young kids who live in broken homes, I thought of the kids who were neglected by family members, I thought of the kids who had no positive influence in their life, I thought of the kids who have been abused, I thought of the kids who did not feel loved, I thought of the kids who were involved in drugs or who were pregnant, the kids who are hurting etc., and my perspective changed.
I began to pray the prayer of Isaiah. I told God that I did not want to be concerned with what I am not making, but I wanted to be consumed with being that light for these children I see on a daily basis. I asked forgiveness because I had been looking at what I was not getting paid, rather than looking at what impact I was being able to make. I always prayed that I wanted God to use me, and I believe God was telling me that “my degree got me this job, and there was a reason I went through all those years of school, and although I was not getting paid that much, the difference I was making in these kids lives, was worth more.” When I answered the ad for God to use me, it did not mean that I would be making a lot of money.
It’s not about sitting on the platform, it’s not about being applauded, it’s not about having recognition, it’s not about ever having fame, it’s not about people knowing who I am, it’s not about having an abundance of money in my account, its about doing the work of God. I am willing to do His work, even if I don’t get paid very well, even if I have to work hard long hours, even if I am never applauded, even if I am never recognized. I think of the kids I see on a daily basis, and I am telling God, “here I am, send me!” This applies not just to my job, but to every aspect of my life.
I pray that we would all pray that prayer today. There is a help wanted ad, and not many are answering the call. But this “job” is so rewarding. It might mean picking up that young girl and taking her to lunch once a week, it might mean taking that young boy to play basketball every Saturday, it might mean staying after church to tutor the junior high kids, it might mean scrubbing the houses of the elderly widows in the church, it might mean volunteering at a homeless shelter, it might mean giving free music lessons to the kids who live around your church. It might mean a lot of things, and it might require us to reexamine our priorities and rexamine what we have been doing. But answering the call of God, inspite of the hard work, it is so worth it.
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I Samuel “Then he waited seven days, according to the time set by Samuel. But Samuel did not come to Gilgal; and the people were scattered from him….
Saul waited for seven days for Samuel to show up. He was promised that on the 7th day, Samuel would come to Gilgal. Six days came and went on the 7th day when Samuel was to arrive, Saul looked around, and Samuel was nowhere to be found. What Saul did next was what I think many of us would do. He took things into his own hands, he rationalized. He said, ‘well since Samuel is not here, I am going to have to take action.’ He forgot about the promise that on the 7th day Samuel was going to be there. He forgot about all the other times God came through on His word, and Saul took manners into his own hands.
Saul was given a promise, but when it did not appear when he thought it was supposed he acted on his own will. We see that in the Bible many times. Sarah and Abraham were given a promise that they would have a son. God told them this many times. But as year after year passed, and Sarah and Abraham grew in age, when it did not look like the promise would be fulfilled, Sarah and Abraham rationalized and determined in their heart, that the son God was talking about was supposed to come not through Sarah, but through her handmaid. They could not see the promise, so they took things into their own hands.
You see that as well with Rebecca and Isaac. When she gave birth to twins Esau and Jacob, God told her that the elder would serve the younger. But when her husband lay on his deathbed, and when he sought out Esau to bless him, Rebecca took things into her own hands. She rationalized that the only way the promise was to be fulfilled was if she made it happen. So she convinced her son, Jacob to deceive his father.
Three examples of people receiving a promise, but when fulfillment of the promise looked bleak, they rationalized and did things on their own. And there were huge consequences for doing this. Saul lost his kingdom. Ishmael was born to Abraham and Hagaar, and thousands of years later there is still strife between descendants of Isaac and descendants of Ishmael. And Jacob spent many years estranged from his family because of his mother’s deceit.
The question I ask is what do we do on the 7th day when God is nowhere to be found? What do we do when the promise we felt we received from God does not appear to be coming to pass?
Sometimes answers to promises are delayed. If you look at the story of Daniel you can see this clearly. The Bible tells us that for three weeks Daniel prayed and fasted. On the 24th day, the angel of the Lord came to him and informed him that when Daniel first mentioned his request, God heard, but there was a spiritual warfare going on which prevented the answer from reaching Daniel. For 21 days, there was a war in the spiritual realm that kept the answer from Daniel. What is awesome though is Daniel never stopped praying. He never gave up. He never took things into his own hands. He waited on God.
The story of Saul continues. The Bible tells us that after he took things into his own hand, Samuel appeared. He was on his way. Maybe there was traffic, maybe an ox fell on the side of the road so he was unable to get to Saul on time. Maybe he overslept and so he got a late start. (I’m just kidding) But either way he was on his way to Gilgal as he promised, but before he could reach the destination, Saul had already took things into his own hand. If Saul could have only waited two hours longer, or one day more, etc., he would not have lost his kingdom.
This lesson is so applicable to each of us. I think the preaching of Bro. Danny Hood was so awesome. He said ‘you know the promise, now you just have to stick to the plan.’ If God gave you a promise, even if it appears that the answer is delayed, know that God is always on time.
I will end with the story of David, one of my favorite Bible people. The Bible tells us many times that before taking action, David inquired of the Lord. He went to the Lord in prayer to see what he was supposed to do. He was given a promise as well. He was told he would be the next king. But when that promise was not fulfilled right away, he always inquired of the Lord.
Sometimes the Lord told David to take action. Other times, the Lord told him to do nothing. This is such an awesome lesson for each and every one of us. If it does not appear that God is coming on the ‘7th day’ so to speak, inquire of the Lord. Ask Him what He wants you to do. If He tells you to take action, then let no fear stop you. But if He tells you to wait, even if you want that promise incredibly badly, wait on the Lord.
Saul’s kingdom was snatched from him. Sarah and Abraham had to deal with ‘Ishmael,’ Rebecca was estranged from her son for many years. They all took things into their own hands, and did not inquire of the Lord. Yet David was given the kingdom. He waited on the Lord and his promise was fulfilled.
I will end by saying that God is coming. The promise is on its way. Maybe it is delayed. Maybe you thought it would come yesterday. But know that it is right around the corner. There is a reason for the delay. And God is still in control. Don’t take things into your own hands; but inquire of the Lord.
The other day I was reading a fictional novel, and it was quite long, and I decided rather than finish it, I was just going to go to the last chapter and read it to see how it turned out. I did not feel bad about doing that. I did not feel like I was cheating. And I was pretty content with not having had to read the whole book but knowing how it ended. I ended up going to
There is a point to that illustration, and to this whole blog. As you read further you might wonder how that opening illustration connects to what I am talking about, but I will tie it all together. I promise.
God does speak. And He does show us the plans and purposes for our life. The question is do we hear? Or more specifically do we listen? Sometimes God shows us the ending to chapter 15 before we are even in chapter 5. The question is when are in chapter 5 and it does not make sense to our own eyes how chapter 15 is going to come to pass, how do we respond? {hopefully that analogy made sense}
I remember one day last summer, it was not really a good day for me, and I went to bed kind of upset with God. Things in my life did not make sense, and I was like ‘God what are you doing?’ I had a dream that night that someone was driving and I was the passenger. We were going to a certain destination, and I kept telling the driver to go down certain roads, but the driver would not listen to me. I knew the final destination, I knew where we were headed, and I felt that I knew better than the driver the roads we needed to take.
I woke up understanding that I am so like that with God sometimes. I tell God He can have control of my life, and I tell Him He is the driver, but I tend to be a backseat driver. He has given me glimpses of what He has in store for me, he has shown me chapter 15, but I am stuck in chapter 5 and it does not make sense to my eyes, how chapter 15 can come to pass. If things are not going the way I think they should, I give suggestions to God on what I think He should do. That summer night, God had to speak to me in a dream to show me this.
Just five minutes ago I was on the phone with a not so nice person at the university I attend. I was trying to explain a situation to her, because I had a question, but she kept on interrupting me. I finally had to ask her if she could not interrupt me so that I could explain the situation. After I hung with her, I realized that often we are like that with God. He speaks, but we interrupt. We don’t allow Him to speak. He is writing our story, He is trying to get us to chapter 15 and rather than go along obediently, every time something happens, that is contrary to what we think should be, we interrupt and give our suggestions on how we think things should turn out.
I believe that when God speaks, He shows us our future. He shows us the end result. He shows us our purpose. It is like He is showing us the last chapter of the book. He is saying this is how it is going to end; this is what I am going to do.
But in order to get to the last chapter, we have to go through the middle. Sometimes the middle chapters make absolutely no sense. We question if God really did show us the promise. Sometimes the last chapter has us doing something, or has something happening, but the chapter we are in, it appears as though that will never happen. But God still speaks. We have the tendency to want to give up, to want to quit, to want to take the pen out of God’s hand, and to begin writing ourselves. He does not need a co-author, he is quite capable of writing on His own. I know for myself, it is like I am trying to be God’s editor at times. I know the final destination, I believe God has shown me what He is going to do, but often when it seems like God is doing something that seems contrary to what the final destination, the final chapter says, I give God suggestions, or I make corrections. God does not need nor does He want me to do that.
We have to believe that what God has shown us will come to pass. We have to claim the promises He has for our life. We have to declare to Satan that He has no authority placing doubt in our mind. If God showed you your future, believe that it will come to pass.
To end, in movies there is something called foreshadowing. Basically, the director will put clues throughout the movie on what is to come. If you don’t pay attention you will miss these clues. I believe God gives us ‘clues’ as well. You might be in chapter 5 and it might not seem like things are happening, but He will give you subtle clues letting you know that what He has promised will come to pass. If you don’t pay attention, if you are talking too loudly, if you are busy interrupting God, if you are playing the part of the editor, you will miss these clues. And frustration will set in. but if you are being obedient, then you will grasp these clues, and when it does not appear like your promise is going to happen, you will hold on, because you know God has already shown you what He is going to do.
I read an article about a young girl who suffered a massive heart attack. What was amazing about this young sixteen year old girl was that she was not overweight, she was not unhealthy; in fact she was active in sports, she ate right, she on the outside was the picture of perfect health. Unbeknownst to even her though, something on the inside was killing her.
I think there are probably many people within the church like this young lady. On the outside they play the part excellently. They come to church. They sit in the pews. They raise their hands. They jump. They shout. They do everything they are supposed to, but on the inside there are many things that they are dealing with that they don’t share with anyone.
There are two points I want to make concerning this. Because of this inside pain it is so important that we be sensitive to other people. We never know what people might be going through. Just because someone looks perfect on the outside does not mean that they are not dealing with things on the inside. Yesterday in prayer I was asking God to put a different person in my mind every day. I don’t need to know what they are going through or dealing with, but I was just praying that God would put a different person in my mind so that I can pray for them, call them, send them an email, get them a card, etc. I know what it is like to need a word of encouragement and so I just pray that God would use me to give a word of encouragement to someone who needs it. And I pray that God would give me a word to those who on the outside have it all together, but who on the inside are dealing with things. My prayer is that I would be sensitive to others because I would hate for someone to be dying on the inside while on the outside they are the picture of perfect health.
In addition to being sensitive to other people it is so important that we are transparent as well. I always tell the kids I work with that it is okay for them to take their mask off with me. They can be real and they don’t have to put on an act. This can be a difficult thing, because it is hard to let people know what you are going through, but it is crucial that we do this. If you are going through something, if you are dealing with a particular situation and you don’t know how you are going to make it, I encourage you to pick up the phone and call someone you can trust and let them know what you are dealing with.
To conclude and to summarize: let us look beyond the smile of those around us and let us be sensitive because behind that smile there might be a lot of pain. In addition, it is important that we let people know what is going on behind our own smile.
In grad school we were taught to analyze, question, and research. When it comes to my life at times I take what I have learned in grad school and apply it to God. I analyze the situation I am in, wondering why things are happening, or why they aren’t happening, wondering what my life will look like in a few years, wondering especially if I will ever be done with school. I question God. I ask Him, “Why are you opening this door? Why are you closing that door? When is this going to happen? Why did this happen? How is this going to turn out? ???????????????????? Sometimes my mind is so full of question marks.
Last week was no different, and Proverbs 3:5 really struck me. The verse tells me to “trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not to your own understanding.” WOW! In other words my analysis, questioning and research needs to stop. God is not my professor at UC Davis. He is not telling me to research the situation. He is not telling me to analyze why doors are opening and others are closing. He is not telling me to question why He is allowing certain things to happen and not allowing others to take place. He is telling me to lean not to my own understanding.
Ok so what is the point of all of this? Why am I writing this blog? I give this illustration because last week in prayer, I was telling God that I wanted Him to have control over my life. And that I would place my life in His hands. And then Proverbs 3:5 came to my mind. And I began quoting that scripture over and over; especially the part that says for me to lean not to my own understanding. I was telling God that I wanted to not lean to my own understanding. I wanted to not worry and wonder about certain things in life. For me this is kind of hard; especially when it comes to school. I have been in college since I was 18 and I am going to be 28 this year. 10 years of higher education. That would be great if I was going to be a medical doctor, but my goal in life has changed so many times, consequently my educational road has gotten longer and longer. And it is hard at times to lean not to my own understanding. It is hard at times to not wonder when I am going to finish school, when I am going to get a good job, when I am going to…… In fact, a couple of weeks ago I made my brother and sister go with me to look at model homes. And I pretended in my mind that I could afford one of them. I pretended that I had a nice paying job, and that I was done with school and that I was seriously able to afford those homes. I had to pretend, because the reality is far different. And so when it comes to my educational road I definitely find it hard to lean not to my own understanding.
After praying this prayer of giving control to God and leaning not to my own understanding throughout every day of the week, I made my way to work in Newman and Friday and I got stuck behind the slowest driver. I cannot overemphasize nor am I exaggerating when I say how slow this driver was driving. And I was stuck behind him, with no way to go around. In every situation I find myself in, I try to see if the Lord can speak to me and what I gained will be the focus of the rest of this blog.
I was in a hurry on Friday. I had to be at work at a certain time and the way this driver was going, I was definitely not going to make it. I am not the type to get road rage, but this individual was taking his sweet time, enjoying the scenery, drinking his coffee, listening to his music, and I was in a hurry. I began to realize that in life I am like that with God. Sometimes I think of God as the driver who is going to slow and I am like, “God I have been on this road for so long, do you think we can hurry it up?” Sometimes I am like “God I think it is time that we rush through this section of my life, so I can begin the next section.” I don’t know if I am the only one to do this. The thing is that God is the driver and His word says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways saith the Lord.” In other words, while we may think He is going too slow, God is saying “I am going at just the right speed. I will allow things to happen, when I want them to happen.” In other words, Lean not to your own understanding. We can’t rush God, nor should we try.
Not only was this individual driving incredibly slow, but I could see that there were no cars in front of him. Absolutely no cars. The road was as clear as it could be. Literally, it was me and him. Nothing was hindering this guy from pressing on the gas a little more, yet he continued to drive slow. I kind of got the impression that he knew I was in a hurry and was taking his time to frustrate me. In life, I think we can at times think the coast is clear. We think that doors should be opened, or things should already be happening, and when they don’t we question God and we tell Him, “God the road is clear.” Our questions pile up because to our natural eyes the road is clear, there is nothing in the way. But when we question Him, we fail to realize that it is not how we see things that matter it is how God sees things that count. And we fail to lean not to our own understanding.
I don’t know if it appears like God is driving too slow in certain areas of your life. Women who are having trouble conceiving might think that God is driving too slow. A person looking for a job might think God is driving too slow. An individual trying to sell their house to no avail might think God is driving too slow. A person stuck in a trial might think God is driving too slow. Someone waiting for a healing might think God is driving too slow. Someone waiting for God to bring their loved one back to Him might think God is driving too slow. And a person who has spent the last ten years going to college might think God is driving too slow J. I don’t know what your prayer has been and I don’t know if like me you are at times having trouble leaning not to your own understanding. I don’t know if you analyze, question and research. I want you to know, as I let myself know, that God will take you down the route He wants you to go. He will lead you to place He has in store for you. He will open up the doors that you have been praying about. It might take longer to get there than you would have wished, but when God is the driver you can guarantee you will get there and it will happen.
I must confess; I did not make it to prayer this morning. My alarm went off at 5:10 and I looked at it, and then I said “30 more minutes, I just need 30 more minutes of sleep. 30 more minutes to lay in my warm bed. 30 more minutes to have my eyes closed.” 30 more minutes sounded so good. And so instead of getting up to go to prayer, I ended up taking 60 more minutes to sleep before getting ready for work.
As I lay in bed, feeling guilty because I was not going to make it to prayer, I began thinking and wondering if God ever says that to us. “30 more minutes.” I wonder if while we are praying in the morning, or talking to him in the evening, if He ever tells us ‘just give me 30 more minutes. 30 more minutes of you devoting yourself to me. 30 more minutes of you talking to me. 30 more minutes of you spending time in my presence. 30 more minutes of you just sitting quietly before my throne. 30 more minutes of you just resting your head on my shoulder. 30 more minutes of you just listening to my still voice. 30 more minutes.”
Sometimes 30 minutes appears to be a lot. We are on deadlines, we have schedules. We have to be at work or at school at certain times. And so 30 more minutes we sometimes don’t feel like we can give that. And we tell God “I can’t give you 30 more minutes.”
This morning, I will be honest, that extra 60 minutes I spent sleeping, it felt so good. That extra 60 minutes I spent wrapped in blankets it was awesome. When my alarm went off after that time I was refreshed. I was ready for the rest of the day. 60 minutes made a huge difference. And I know that if we gave God that extra “30 minutes” we would feel the same. That extra “30 minutes” of worshipping Him. That extra “30 minutes” of praising Him. That extra “30 minutes “of just sitting silently before Him. We would leave feeling refreshed. We would leave feeling renewed. I know I was challenged this morning. I was challenged to give God “30 more minutes.” In the literal sense, I was challenged that some days I should get up a littler earlier and give more time to pray than I usually do. That some mornings I should give a literal “30 more minutes.” But “30 more minutes” can be figurative as well. I was challenged to give God more worship, more praise, more adoration. I was challenged to give Him more time where I just sit and listen, and don’t talk (and I sometimes find that hard when I am praying)
“30 more minutes” it seems like a lot, but makes a huge differnece. Let’s give God “30 more minutes”
“O my child, I am coming to you walking on the waters of the sorrows or your life; yes, above the sounds of the storm you shall hear My voice call your name. What seems to you to be at present a difficult situation is all part of My planning, and I am working out the details of circumstances so that I may bless you and reveal Myself to you in a new way. Never let your faith waver.”
It is so encouraging to know that God sees all that we go through. All the pain we experience, all the difficulty we endure, God hears us call out to Him. Even when it does not appear that He is listening, He is listening. Even when the situation does not seem to change, to know that it is all part of His plan is so uplifting. Even when the doors don’t seem to be opening, He is working out the details and in due time the doors will open. It is awesome to know that God knows that at times our faith wants to waver; at times our mind wonders if the situation will ever change, at times our fear tells us that God does not love us or does not care about what we are going through. But during these times He wants to reassure us that He has it all under His control.
This quote encouraged me this past July. This past July I was kind of in a ‘what am I doing with my life’ stage. At the end of June when I finished graduate school and realized I did not really accomplish much that year, I tried to convince myself that I could do it; that I could go for my PhD and that I could become a professor. By the first week of July I realized I was fooling myself if I thought I could endure another two to three years of graduate school. I remember one Tuesday night coming home so discouraged and downtrodden. (In this blog I really want to be transparent and take off the mask; some people when they look at me might think I am a picture of complete faith and trust, but in July I felt like all my faith was gone) I had spent the last three years attending graduate school, and while I knew that was where God wanted me during that time, I literally could not go another day in that direction. I fell asleep crying, asking God to speak to me. I pleaded with Him to give me peace, and to give me strength, and to give me comfort, and to give me direction; and I felt like He was nowhere to be found.
Frustration crept in, and I was like “God I pray daily, I read your Word, I seek you with all my heart, I don’t compromise; why are you so silent?” I continued praying, “When I need you the most right now, when I can’t take another step without you, when I can’t go on, you are nowhere to be found.” I am going to be honest I was a little depressed. I had just spent three years working on a degree for a profession I did not want to enter. I felt like I was at a fork in the road, and rather than speaking to me, showing me which way He wanted me to go, God, I thought, was not answering my prayers.
I fell asleep quoting scripture and claiming God’s Word, but when I woke up; I pretty much felt the same. And when I was at prayer in the morning, I continued my petition before the Lord and I was like “God I am not going to leave this place until you give me peace. I don’t necessarily have to have an answer, but I can not go this day feeling the way I am feeling.” I don’t know if we are allowed to speak to God that way, but I was at a breaking point. My faith was definitely wavering, and I felt like I was sinking. I was not going to give up on God and my relationship on Him, but I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean calling for a life boat, but finding none.
I don’t know how things changed. But I know by that afternoon I had peace. And over time and after more prayer I confidently decided not to go back to UC Davis and rather to go to become a high school counselor. And I have seen over the past six or seven months since that depressing night in July doors open in my life. I have seen the path cleared for me to work to become a high school counselor. That Tuesday in July I could see no end to the storm. The rain seemed to be pounding and the waves rushing around me. But now there is calm, and there is a peace.
I want to say that all throughout graduate school; I was in constant prayer concerning my future. I honestly believe that God had me there for a reason, but for the three years that I was there, I really was not happy about becoming a professor. For three years I would pray to God and ask Him to guide me to what He wanted me to do. I would ask Him to open the doors He wanted me to go through, I would cry sometimes because I did not think I could make it. I would plead with God to take me out of graduate school; it was an emotional roller coaster for three years, but I waited on the Lord and I waited for Him to open the doors. I never stepped outside of His will. I will be honest, I applied for jobs many times, and even got interviews, but I did not have peace. There was not stillness and so I continued attending < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />
I say all of this because I don’t know if right now you are feeling like I was feeling in July. I don’t know if you feel like you don’t know where you are going. I don’t know if you feel like you are in the midst of a storm and there is no umbrella in sight. I don’t know if you feel like everyone else has direction but you. I don’t know if because you have made decisions without consulting God you don’t think He can or will fix the situation. I don’t know what you are dealing with or what you are going through. I don’t know what your prayer has been. I don’t know what doors you need to be opened. I don’t know what word you need to hear from the Lord. But I encourage you, as the quote in the beginning encouraged me, God will see you through. Don’t let your faith waver. He truly loves you; He truly desires the best for your life. Even if you have taken the pen out of His hand and have begun writing and organizing your own story, God allows for you to give the pen back to Him. He truly does desire great things for your life. And this storm it is all part of His plan. Even if He seems silent, keep on praying, keep on believing. The doors might not be opened today, but they will be opened. Don’t let your faith waver. And know that you truly are His child. You truly mean so much to Him. You truly are special to God. Even if you don’t feel special, even if don’t feel like you matter, even if you don’t think great things can come out of you, know that God sees you in a completely different way.
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Foggy. That is the best way to describe my drive to work today. It was so incredibly foggy. As I was maneuvering my way to Newman this morning, trying to make it through the fog, I began thinking about how sometimes in the spiritual sense we have foggy days. You know days where nothing makes sense. Days where we can not see in front of us. days when it is uncertain whether we are even heading in the right direction. So I use my drive to work today as inspiration for today’s blog.
I thought of many things this morning while I was driving. I know for myself I have had many, many days where I feel like I can’t see in front of me. days where the road I am on makes absolutely no sense. days where I call out to God but the fogginess does not subside. I am not sure if any one of you finds yourself in that place today. You have a decision to make. You are in the midst of a trial. You went down one road convinced that was what God wanted and now that road is full of fogginess. I want to leave you with some encouragement.
This morning as I was driving to work, I literally could not see in front of me. I was kinda of scared because I had no idea what lay in front of me. isn’t that how life is too sometimes? We are ‘driving’ so to speak in life but we can not see what lies ahead. What we do during these times is so crucial. This morning I had to keep on driving. I had to trust that I was going to get to work. In the spiritual sense as well, when life seems foggy, when things don’t make sense, we have to trust that God knows what He is doing. We have to trust that even if we can’t see what lies ahead, God knows what does.
Not only that but we have to trust that as long as we are praying and as long as we are seeking God, then the road we are on must be the right road. This morning while I was driving there was a time where I kinda questioned whether I was headed to Newman. I could see nothing. absolutely nothing. and so I wondered if I missed a turn, or if turned by accident. I think many of us do that in the spiritual sense as well. we are headed on a road, whatever that road may be and things don’t make sense, and things are not clear and so we question whether we are on the right road at all. And we wonder. It is important that during this time we don’t make any rash decisions.
As I was driving this morning, I had to make sure that I drove incredibly slow. The people behind me were probably irritated, but I did not want to take any chances. In life we have to do that too. When things don’t make sense, when we are surrounded by fogginess, when life is unclear, we have to make sure we don’t make any rash decisions. We have to make sure we don’t go out on our own. We have to make sure we don’t reason within ourselves. We have to trust in God.
There have been many times when I have prayed for certain situations and God does not seem to be answering me. He does not seem to be lifting the fog. Rather than things getting clearer, they remain incredibly foggy. And it is during these times I can be tempted to take another route. During these times I can try to reason within myself and lift the fog myself, but doing so will take me down a road that God does not want me on. I have learned that as long as I pray and as long as I seek God He will eventually lift the fog. He will eventually give me direction. And I will be able to look back and I will be able to see that He guided me.
It is so important therefore that during our times of fogginess we surround ourselves with people we know have a prayer life, people we know seek God, people we know live for God. if we surround ourselves with bitter, discouraging, no pray-life having people, they are not going to help us during times of fogginess. Rather than helping us they are going get us lost. It is so crucial that when we are in the midst of a fog we surround ourselves with people who trust God, who believe in God because they will provide us the encouragement we need to help us through.
I don’t know if any of you are in a foggy situation right now. I don’t know if you are praying for direction, if you are praying for a particular need, if you are in the midst of a trial, but I encourage you to continue driving down the road you are on. God might not lift the fog right now, but as you pray you will see that he will guide you through it. Trust that God will get you to the destination.
And behold the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it….(I Kings 19:11
There have been times in the past where the situation I was in made absolutely no sense, times when the mountain I had to climb seemed too tall, times when the desert I was in was so dry and desolate, times when it seemed that rather than things getting better things were getting worse, times when rather than doors opening it seemed like every door was closing. During these difficult times, I would cry out to God and I would ask Him to speak to me. I would tell Him how desperate I was to hear from Him. I would tell Him that my strength had dried up, my courage had been stolen, my joy had been robbed, and that without a word from Him I did not know how I would make it. Yet there were times when I was praying; it seemed rather than God talking; He was silent.
Sometimes we expect God to speak to us in mighty ways. We want a man or woman of God (the wind) to come and give us a word in the altar (I have been guilty of that). We want to open the Bible (the earthquake) and whatever verse it opens to, to be the Word from God (I have been guilty of that too). We want God to give us a dream (the fire) concerning our situation (guilty). We want someone to call us with the word from God (Guilty). And when that does not happen we don’t think God is speaking. We are expecting God in the ‘wind,’ the ‘earthquake,’ the ‘fire’ but He is not there. God is speaking to us in a low whisper.
God does not need a minister to speak to you (although He will at times speak to us directly through a minister). He does not need some powerful prayer warrior to give you a word (although at times He will use one to give us a word). He does use them, but He wants to speak to you directly. More often than not you will hear from God, not by the voice of the minister talking directly about your situation, not by the voice of the prayer warrior telling you about the dream God gave them concerning you; but directly from Him.
God speaks to us daily but so many things keep us from hearing Him. Because He is whispering, we need to be still in order to hear. We just need to wait in silence at times. Our own worries, our own fears, our own doubts, our lifestyles and our own thoughts can keep us from hearing Him. We are so busy talking, that we can’t hear God silently calling our name. God is speaking to us, but we can not hear. God is talking to us about the situation we are in, He is speaking to us about the decision we need to make, He is speaking to us about the lifestyle we are living, He is speaking to us about the pain we are dealing with, He is speaking to us about the confusion that has come into our life, He is speaking to us about the strength we find ourselves lacking, He is speaking to us about the joy we are seeking after. He is speaking.
In order to hear His voice though we have to be still. We can’t hear a whisper if we are talking. We can’t hear a whisper if we are distracted. We can’t hear a whisper if we are distracted. In order to hear a whisper we need to be still. We need to stop everything else and we need to be still. I encourage you this week to just be still. It is not that He will speak to you if you are still; it is that He has been speaking, but we have not been still and so we have not heard. Be still. He will speak. I don’t know if anyone who is reading this has needed a word from God. I don’t know if anyone who is reading this has been seeking God for direction, or answers, or strength, etc., but I do know that God speaks. Even when He seems silent; He still speaks.
Life is not about the corner office (nothing is wrong with having one), but it is about making a difference in someone’s life. Life is not about traveling the world (nothing is wrong with doing that); but it is about reaching out to someone in need. Life is not about being able to afford the nicest clothes (nothing is wrong with being able to afford nice things); but it is about giving money to those in need. Life is not about the title before one’s name (nothing is wrong with having a title); but it’s about treating those without the title the same as those with one. Life is not about what others can do for us; it is about what we can do for others. Life is not about letting the world influence our decisions; it is about us influencing the world. Life is not about letting culture dictate our actions; it is about having God’s Word guide our every move.
I would hate to be known as a phony. I would hate to be known as a fake. I want my worship and my praise to be genuine. If I lift my hands in worship in the sanctuary, I want it to be because I lift my hands in worship in my home. If I open my Bible on Sunday, I want it to be because I open my Bible during the week. If I kneel to pray on Sunday, I want it to be because I kneel and pray during the week. I would hate to have it said of me that I pleased man, but my actions were unpleasing to God. I would hate for them to say you had mans applause, but your actions did not garner the applause of God.
I want more than anything to have my actions please God. I want more than anything to praise and worship God with all that is in me. I want more than anything to be a light for those who don’t know God. I want more than anything to be genuine and to be real and not to be a fake or a phony. I want more than anything to walk with God every day of my life. I want more than anything to draw closer to Him daily.
When people comment about us, I would hate if their primary comments would be about the clothes we wear, our appearance, our degrees, our car, houses, etc., but that they would comment on how they admire our relationship with God; our walk with Him; our praise; our worship; our dedication; our service. Because those are the things that matter!
“Yes you may do many things but only that which I direct you to do can have my blessing.”
Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts,
Sometimes we equate things that we have with God’s favor. If we make good money, then our job must be in God’s will. If we have a nice car, clothes, etc., then God’s blessing must be upon us. This is indeed not the truth. If our actions do not align with God’s word, we are not in His will and nothing we do or have has God’s blessing.
I recently met the girlfriend of an individual who is Christian. This girl was a really nice and sweet girl. The problem is she is not a believer. This individual was convinced that this relationship was in God’s will because this person was so great and so nice. I have heard of individuals, who have a great paying job, and they give some of their income to the church, but this job requires them to work long nights where they are away from their family, and weekends where they are unable to attend church. I have seen Christians come to church dressed in designer clothes, driving expensive cars, praising God for their blessings, but they also spend much of their life gossiping, causing dissension and not following the word of God.
I say all of this because as humans we try to justify our actions all the time. We have a job that prevents us from coming to church, but since we tithe, the job is in God’s will. We are in a relationship and the person is not Christian, but because they are nice, the relationship must be in God’s will. We gossip and lie all the time, but since we have material wealth, we must not be doing anything wrong.
I want to remind each and every one of us that if we are doing something that is not aligned with the word of God,
with the Bible, it does not matter how much we justify it, or convince ourselves we are being blessed by God, or God is okay with our actions. God does not bless nor does He smile upon those who don’t live according to His will.
I will end with the quote I began with.
“Yes you may do many things but only that which I direct you to do can have my blessing.”
“You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.”
I know I am known for my lengthy blogs, but I came across this quote today and I think it speaks for itself. But I will briefly put in my two cents.
Your character is determined not by how you treat the bank manager, when you are trying to get a loan, but how you treat the waiter when your food is cold. Not by how you treat the car sales man when you are trying to get a deal, but how you treat the hotel maid who is cleaning your room. Not by how you treat the choir director who has control over who sings the solo, but how you treat the person who cleans the church. Not by how you treat your boss when you are trying to get a raise, but how you treat the person who answers the phones. Not by how you treat the mayor of your particular city, but how you treat the homeless who lives on the street.
We need to be godly with everyone we come in contact with. We need to be a light to the waiter just as we need to be a light to the businessman. We need to be a light to the homeless just as we need to be a light to the mayor. We need to be a light to the rich just as we need to be a light to the poor. What does the waiter think of you if you complain about the food and don’t leave a tip? What does the homeless think of you if you make a comment to them that they need to get a job? What does the person who is a different ethnicity think of you if you make fun of their culture?
“You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.”
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The person who preaches and stands behind the pulpit is no better than the person who cleans the toilets. The person who sings the solo is no better than the person who manages the church landscaping. The person who directs the choir is no better than the person who works in the nursery. The person who is the pastor’s son is no better than the person who is related to no one. The person who is the choir director’s cousin is no better than the person who is the janitor’s son. The musician is no better than the usher.
Sometimes in the church we put some people on levels that are higher than others. We tend to put the person who preaches on a level that is untouchable. We put the choir director on a pedestal. We put the praise singer and soloist on this level that is above others. They become untouchable. We become like the scripture in James: “suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person but you say to the poor one, you can stand over there, or else sit on the floor…” (James 2:2-3) We do this in many ways. Through our actions we state that the preacher is better than the usher, the choir director better than the janitor, the musician better than the Sunday school teacher, the soloist better than the greeter. It is unfortunate that we do this.
I have such admiration for those who work behind the scenes. They are truly people I look up to. The people who do things without the applause, and without the recognition, they are people that I think are doing so much. They are my heroes. There are so many people in my church who do things without the recognition. I wish I could name you personally here but I would probably miss someone. But I personally want to say that I admire you so much. You are doing great things for God. The prayer warrior who comes to church early in the morning, you may not get the applause that the preacher gets, but I admire you so much. The person who works with the juniors and who opens your home for those who don’t have a loving home, you might not get the recognition that the soloist gets but I admire you so much. The person in charge of the visitor ministry and outreach, you might not get the acclaim that the choir director gets, but I admire you so much. The person who cleans the church, you might not get the applause that the choir gets, but I admire you so much. The person who does the media and sound you might not get the recognition that others get, but you are doing great things. The usher and the greeter you might not get applause, but I admire you so much. Everyone who works behind the scenes, you are doing so much, and you might not always get man’s applause but you have God’s attention. You might think that what you are doing is not making a difference, but I tell you, you are making such a huge impact. I admire your servant’s heart. I admire the hard work and dedication you have. I admire you all so much.
I think those who have a ministry in the spotlight can learn a lot from those who work behind the scenes. Those who are on the platform can learn a lot from those who are not on the platform. Those who garner the applause from man can learn a lot from those who do things without applause. They should be our heroes. They should be who we look up to. They should be our inspiration. And so this blog is two-fold. Number One I want to personally acknowledge those who work without the acknowledgement. Number Two I want to remind us that we need to check the direction we, as a church, are going. We need to stop placing certain positions on levels higher than others. We need to stop being consumed, or more specifically obsessed with titles and positions and platforms. We need to learn from those who do things without applause because their motivations are pure.
Praise the Lord!
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We are standing at a fork in the road. There are two roads that we can take; two ways we can possibly go. One road is the road of name-brand Christians. Christians who think the car they drive defines them, the clothes they wear make them, the platform they sit on, describes them. Christians who worry only about title, position, and power. Christians who don’t seek after God, but who seek after what they can get. Christians who please man, but not God. Name-brand Christians stand on the pulpit and act holy, they hold a microphone and act sincere, they sit in the pews and play the part. Name-brand Christians are not genuine, they are not real, they are fake.
The second road we can take is the road to purity. A road filled with no games, no facades, no masks. A road with Christians who will pray. Christians who will read the Word. Christians who won’t be consumed with titles, positions, acclamations. A road filled with Christians who don’t seek after prestige, but who seek after God. Christians who don’t seek after applause, but who seek after God. Christians who recognize that it is God that matters the most. Christians who want to make a difference for the Lord. Christians who ask God ‘what can I do for you; not what can you do for me?’ Christians who have a burden for this generation. Christians who sob over the lost. Christians who want to please God.
My heart breaks because I don’t know what road we are taking. I don’t know where we are going. I don’t know what our future holds. This generation can make a difference. This generation can make a change. This generation can do mighty things. But the road we need to take is the road to purity.
If we take the Name-brand road, then the titles we have, the positions we hold, the platform that we have are not sincere; it is not real. If we take the Name-brand road we might be pleasing man, but we are so displeasing to God. If we take the Name-brand road we are fooling only ourselves. If we take the Name-brand road we are not doing anything. We might have the power, we might have the prestige, we might have the applause, we might have the clothes, the car, the positions, but we don’t have God.
But if we take the purity road, we have so much. We have God, and that is what matters the most. We have it all. Let us restore the purity of the church. Let us restore prayer. Let us restore the Word. Let us begin the renovation, the restoration, let us have a makeover within the church. Let us put a stop to the games that are being played, the politics that have defined us, and the sin that has consumed us. Change lies in our hands, and so it is up to us. What road are we going to take?
I decided to rearrange my bedroom yesterday. This was not an easy feat. Before I began rearranging my room I knew in my mind exactly where I wanted everything to go. For two hours though it was like my bedroom was a jigsaw puzzle. In order to move my bed where I wanted it, I first had to put my bed in the hallway, take the drawers out of my dresser so that I could move it and then move my dresser to the middle of my room, take the books off my bookshelves and then move my bookshelves. If someone would have come into my room during this transformation they would have thought that I did not know what I was doing, because nothing was in place.
I give this illustration because as I was moving my bedroom I thought of life. Sometimes where we are in life makes absolutely no sense. In our natural eyes everything looks messed up. We don’t understand why certain things are happening; we don’t understand why we are at a certain place in our life. It is like when I was in the midst of rearranging my room, we look around and rather than seeing order, everything seems chaotic and out of order. We can only see what is in front of us, and what is in front of us does not make sense. But we forget that the author of our life knows exactly what He is doing. Just like when I was rearranging my room, to the outside observer, it appeared as though I did not know what I was doing. But I knew exactly where I wanted everything to be in my room, and I recognized that in order to get the furniture where I wanted it, for awhile my room was going to look chaotic, but this disorder was needed.
As I was moving my bedroom I thought of God and the plan He has for our life. I believe that God has this purpose and this plan for our life, but in order for His will to be fulfilled He sometimes has to move ‘beds into the hallways, and dressers into the middle of the room, and books on the floor’ in order to get everything in order. I heard someone say once that in order to get from point A to point B, God at times takes us to point C, D and F first and then to point B. In other words, it appears that our life is chaotic and nothing is making sense, but God knows exactly what He is doing. To our natural eyes, our life might not make sense, but to God, He knows He has to move things around in order to fulfill His will in our life. Sometimes the picture does not become clear for awhile. It took me two hours to move my bedroom around. For two hours, my bedroom looked like a disaster, but after it was all done, it looked exactly how I pictured it in my mind. In life, we might not understand why we are at a certain place in our life, or why things are happening, and we might not understand things for awhile. It might be ‘2 hours,’ so to speak, before things begin to make sense. But if we don’t give up and if we persevere, the picture will become clear.
I got clarity concerning my own life while rearranging my room. I am thankful because, to me, my life might seem chaotic at times, and I might have ‘beds in the hallway, and dressers in the middle of my room’ and the picture might not be clear, but I have confidence because God knows what He is doing. I encourage you to take comfort in that. I don’t know where you find yourself right now. I don’t know if things don’t make sense, but know that to God it all makes sense.
I remember when I went to
I will be the first to admit that at times my level of praise and worship is not where it should be. There are times when I get consumed with life and things that I am dealing with and I don’t give God what He deserves. King David and the Ethiopians are such great examples for us though. David was on the run from Saul, he feared for his own life, but he worshipped God with all that was in him. The Ethiopians lack so much materially: They don’t always know when their next meal will be. Some don’t posses transportation and have to walk hours to get to church. Others are so poor that they wear the same thing daily. Yet they know God. They worship Him, they praise Him, and they offer Him their everything.
How much more should we? None of us wonders where our next meal will come from. None of us sleeps on dirt floors. None of us has to walk hours to get to church. None of us has only one outfit in our closet. None of us walks barefoot because we can’t afford shoes. The poorest person in
Today in prayer I told God I just wanted to worship Him, I just wanted to praise Him and do nothing else. As I already mentioned, there have been times this year when I was so overwhelmed with being unhappy in the PhD program that my prayers were consumed with ‘God I don’t know what I am doing, but I know I don’t want to do this.’ And while we do need to give God our burdens, today in prayer I told God that if all I do when I pray is worship and praise Him and never get around to presenting my needs, that is what I want to do. From here on out, I told God I want to be like the Ethiopians. Like the Ethiopians, we should always come to God first and foremost with our praise and worship. There are times though when we rush through our praise and worship so that we can present our needs. We spend five minutes praising God and 45 presenting our needs. (I am not talking about intercession, because I think it is different when we spend time praying for others, I am talking about when we spend the majority of the time praying for our own circumstances). It should not be like that. Again I am not saying that we should not present our needs to God. I think He is the first who we should give our needs to. But I think we should be like the Ethiopians whose praise and worship is so genuine and so sincere. And if we don’t get around to presenting our needs because we are consumed with worship, that that is okay.
Earlier this week I was reading the Psalms and a verse struck me. In Psalms 73, David is overwhelmed it seems, by circumstances that surround him. Yet in verse 17 he says, ‘Until I went into the sanctuary of God, then I understood.” In other words, David was letting what he was going through overwhelm his thoughts, and it was not until he began to praise and worship God that his perspective changed. The situation did not change; his enemies were still plotting against him, but his perspective changed. I truly believe that when we come to God first and foremost with our worship and praise our circumstances, they might not change, but our perspective does. You still might not have a job, your loved one might still not be serving God the way they should, that sickness might still be there, etc., but your perspective on who God is changes. When we come to God with genuine worship and praise, we realize how big and great of a God it is that we serve, and our understanding increases.A few weeks ago I got to the point where I was overwhelmed. I knew in my heart, there was absolutely no way I could continue in the PhD program. I knew it was not what I wanted and that I would be miserable if I had to take one more step in the program. I will admit, rather than coming to God with worship and praise, I came to God telling Him that I could not do it, and letting Him know how overwhelmed I was. I went to sleep one night having no peace about the situation. The next morning when I went to prayer though, my mentality changed. I told God I was not going to spend my time presenting my need, but I was going to spend time worshipping Him. Whether He gave me direction or not, He is still God and He still deserves worship and praise. And so that morning, I just praised and worshipped God. Nothing else. I will say I left wtih my perspective changed. I left prayer with peace. I left prayer with understanding. My situation had become bigger than God. In other words, I had become overwhelmed with trying to figure out what I was going to do academically. But by me just worshipping and praising God, and telling God that I was not going to worry about my situation, but I just was going to consume myself with God’s presence, my situation shrunk and my understanding of God increased.
When we come before God consumed with worship and praise, not worrying about our situation or our circumstance, God meets us. Our life needs to be consumed with worship and praise given to God. We need to stop looking at our circumstances and our situation and start looking at God and who God is. I challenge you for the rest of July to not pray about your circumstance; if you are looking for a job, don’t mention it in prayer, if you a loved one is not serving God; don’t mention it in prayer, if you don’t know what you are doing in your life; don’t mention in prayer, if you are looking for a place to live; don’t mention it in prayer, whatever the situation concerning your life is don’t mention it in prayer. I am not telling you to ignore the situation, I am not telling you to deny that the need is there, but I am saying rather than presenting to God a list of your personal needs, spend the time worshipping and praising God. I truly believe if you do this your perspective will change. God will grow bigger and your situation will grow smaller.
Let us be like the Ethiopians who recognize that an intimate relationship with God should be our top priority. Let us spend time worshipping God and praising Him and giving Him thanksgiving and adoration. Let us not look at our circumstance, but look at God.
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This past week I went on a hike and that is where the inspiration for my blog comes from.
I hiked to a top of a waterfall. From the bottom of the hill the waterfall looked so pretty. At first the hike was not so bad. The first few minutes, although it was tiring, I had the vision of the waterfall in my head and I knew I wanted to see the top of it. In the spiritual sense I believe a lot of us are like that as well. We have the vision of what God wants us to do and He clearly shows us the purpose and the plan that He has for us. And so we set out walking, set out to climb the mountain, to see the ‘waterfall.’ At first, the hike is not bad; although it is a new experience because we have that vision of the end result, even when it gets a little difficult we continue to climb.
After awhile though, after we have been walking for some time and the vision does not seem any closer to reality, we begin to lose our focus. This is what happened on my hike. After walking for some time and feeling as though I was never going to reach this waterfall, in my head I began telling myself that I should just turn around, that it would take to long before I got to the top. In the spiritual sense we do that a lot. We have the vision in our head, we know what God wants us to do, but after we have been walking for some time we begin to lose our focus. We forget how pretty the ‘waterfall’ looked from the bottom and all we can think about is the pain and the long road ahead of us.
I have been saying that I wanted to go on a hike for a long time. Sometimes we say things like that. We say we want to be used by God. We say we want to do great things for Him. We say that we just want to be a vessel. But we don’t realize the pain that those things involve. It is so easy to say I want to be used by God and not to realize the cost that that entails. When I said I wanted to go on a hike, I did not realize how long the journey was going to be, and how hard it was. And so as I was walking, I began to think in my head, do I really want to be on this hike? And sometimes we do that in the spiritual sense, we say we want to be used by God, we say we want His will to be done in our life, but then once we set out walking and the trials come we second guess our desires.
But there is encouragement along the way. As we were hiking there were people who were coming down from this mountain. And we would ask them how much longer do we have? They all would say “you are almost there.” This was not in fact true, because we kept on walking and walking. We were not almost there. But I think these people were able to say we were almost there because they had a different perspective. They had reached the top of the mountain, they had seen the waterfall and so they knew no matter how hard the climb the end result was worth it. I think this is so true in the spiritual sense as well. God might have you climbing an incredibly difficult mountain right now. There might be this plan and purpose He has for your life. It seems as though you have been climbing it for some time and the end is nowhere in sight. Take encouragement from the words of those who have already climbed the mountain. While it might be some time before your vision becomes a reality, the climb is worth it. The hard work, the sacrifices, it is all worth it.
As I mentioned before there were many times along the way that I wanted to quit. Many times that I forgot how pretty the ‘waterfall’ looked. I know for myself I don’t handle pressure very well. When life gets too stressful I often result to settling. I lose focus of the ‘waterfall’ and all I see is the journey I am going to have to climb.
This hike taught me many things. I am going to be transparent because I believe transparency helps other people. Often when people comment on me going for my PhD, as encouraging as it is to know that people believe in me, at times the pressure is too much to handle. I hear people tell me that God is going to use me in a certain capacity, and I hear people tell me that my PhD will enable God to do so much through me. Rather than seeing the end result, rather than seeing the ‘waterfall’ I just see the long journey that this is going to be. Not only do I see the long journey ahead I see the isolated journey. Many times God has you climbing a mountain all by yourself. He has you do things that not many have done. He has you on a journey where when you look around there is no one else in sight. And because of this, the mountain seems so much higher. I know for myself, the last few months, the pressure at times has been too hard to bear. I think of the journey that God wants me to take and at times, my actions, have pretty much been telling God that I refuse to take this journey. I have cried to God, I have told Him I don’t want to go for my PhD. I have told Him that it is too hard, it is too long…
But then I think of King David. He was out tending the sheep when God called him and anointed him the next king. This was not something he sought; this was not something he was looking for. But it was something that God wanted him to do. I bet David never imagined the road that He would have to travel on before becoming king. I am sure there were many times that he told God, this is not what I asked for. But he persevered. He never gave up. I know for myself, there are many times when the road gets so difficult, I tell God, “I never wanted to get my PhD.” Someone once told me not to limit myself and that I needed to realize that God had this plan for my life that might take me away from my home church. The last few months I have been refusing to believe that. The pressure of going for my PhD has caused me to want to settle. In fact I told a friend from school the other day that I just wanted to get a job at McDonalds because I could not handle the pressure. I had been the opposite of King David. He preserved despite the difficulty, and I was ready to quit because the journey seemed too long.
Sometimes though we are right around the corner from God’s promises, but because the climb has been difficult and the road seems lonely we turn back, we settle, we give up. We forget how beautiful the ‘waterfall’ looked from the bottom. As we were hiking there was a great deal of time when we could not see the waterfall any more. We were walking towards it but it was no longer in our sight. We were pretty much walking by faith believing that when we reached the top, the waterfall would be there. That is how it is in the spiritual sense as well. When we start the journey we know the purpose and plan God has for us, but as we walk some distance that vision gets lost. We can no longer see it and so we walk by faith. Sometimes we forget the words that God has given us concerning the vision. We just think about how difficult the journey has been and how difficult it will be. But we need to remember the words of those who have been on the mountain. We are right around the corner. And the end result is worth it.
There is a verse in Isaiah that simply says: “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” God knows that the journey at times is difficult. He knows that at times the road might seem too hard to traverse. But He will give us the strength that we need. Whether it be a word from someone at the right time, whether it be a verse that you read in your devotional, whether it be another glimpse of what He has in store for you, He will give you the strength you need to make it to the top. I know for myself this hike is what I needed to refocus. It is what I needed to see the purpose and plan that God has for my life. It is like every word that any one has ever given me, and every word that God has given me came flooding back to me. Sometimes when you climb for so long, you forget the words that have been given to you. You forget the promises, you forget the plans, and you forget the purpose. And that is what had been happening to me. I have been going to school forever and I have been climbing this mountain forever, and I was just getting so tired from doing it. I looked around and I saw others who had reached the top of their mountain and I wondered why God still had me climbing. I wondered why God wanted me to go for my PhD. I would tell Him, I am not capable, you called the wrong person. I looked at how much I had climbed and I looked at how much I still had to climb, and I was as the verse in Isaiah says, ‘weary and tired.’
I know if I had given up on the hike, if I had said I don’t want to climb any more, I would have regretted it and I would have missed out on viewing the waterfall. In life it is like that as well. I don’t know what God has in store for me. I don’t know the plans He has for my life. I don’t know the things He wants to do through me. But I have to be willing to do them. I have to be willing to climb the mountain, no matter how difficult it may seem, no matter how long the journey. Because if I don’t I will live a life of regret. Sometimes we try to climb the mountain by ourselves. Or I can just personalize it and sometimes I try to climb the mountain by myself. I try to take things into my own hands. I try to control the situation and I try to figure things out myself. But it is when I try to do it on my own, that I lose focus, that I lose the vision, that I lose the purpose. God does not have us on this mountain by ourselves. He is right there besides us. He wants to guide us. He wants to help us. And when we get tired He wants to give us the strength we need. But He does not want us to give up. He does not want us to lose focus. He does not want us to forget the purpose and plan. So as I end this I encourage you to continue climbing that mountain God has you on, even when the road seems difficult and even when it seems like there is no end in sight, don’t give up, because when you reach the top you will be so glad that you made it.
I think I can safely say that we all have insecurities. There is probably at least one thing about you that if given the chance you would change. I know for myself, I tend to be incredibly shy. I will always remember an evaluation a professor in graduate school gave to me. He said that while He enjoyed my papers that I turned in, my shyness exasperated him. Exasperated; that is a strong word. There have been many prayers I have offered to God asking Him why He created me as shy as He did. I am not a naturally social person. In fact, during seminars in graduate school, I would often have to have a little conversation in my head before class (I hope I am not the only one who has had conversations with themselves in their head). I would tell myself ‘Kimberli you have to speak at least three times during seminar today.’ And I would literally count the number of times I spoke and once I hit three times, I would not say another word during the course of the seminar. A little embarrassing to admit, but my insecurities definitely lie in my shyness.
I gave this illustration because God can use you in areas that you would never have picked. I am amazed that Ben ever gave me a chance to speak. When I first moved to
I think of King David, who is my favorite person in the Bible to study, if anyone could have insecurities it was him. The youngest child, David’s own father did not even think he could be the next king. Yet that is who God used. Moses, he did not have the ability to speak, but God was telling him, ‘it is your voice I want to use.’ So many other examples of people in the Bible who God used regardless of their own insecurities.
I don’t know what God is planning on doing through you. I don’t know the plans He has for your life. I don’t know the things He wants to do. But I want to encourage you not to let your insecurities get in the way. God might just have something that you would never have picked for yourself. And so I encourage you if someone asks you to do something, do it. It is so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. God has created each of us perfect, He has made no mistakes. Sometimes we look at certain individuals and we say ‘wow, I could never be like that, I could never do what they are doing as good as they do it.’ And in doing so, we minimize the beauty of ourselves. I want to encourage you, as I encourage myself, to let go of your insecurities. If you have been asked to speak, even if you are shy, I encourage you to speak. If you have been asked to lead a ministry, even if you have never led a ministry, I encourage you to lead. If you have been asked to teach Sunday School, even if you don’t feel you know enough of the Bible, I encourage you to lead Bible Study.
I also want to encourage those who are trying to find your place in God. Maybe you have so many hidden insecurities; you don’t know how God can ever use you. I pray that my example serves as encouragement to you. When I was 18 I would never have said that God was going to use my voice. I was so shy. Yet here I am almost 27 and that is what God has done. God used me in an area I would never have imagined. God can use you too in an area that you would never have picked for yourself. And the awesome thing is that in the end God gets all the glory, and you will never forget that it was He who brought you to the place that He did.
Lord we come before you so honored that you would even know our name. In this world there are millions upon millions of people, but you know every hair on our head. You know our thoughts, you know our worries, you know our desires, and you know our needs. It is such a privilege to be called a child of the King. God you are our everything. We are completely lost without you. Above everything our desire is you. Lord we thank you for protecting us, protecting us from danger, protecting us from illness, protecting us from hurts. Lord we thank you for seeing past our faults, seeing past our mistakes. Lord we thank you because there are times when doubt, and insecurity cloud the child you have created us. Your Word tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and it tells us that before we were in our mother’s womb you knew us. And we thank you for that. Lord we can’t love you enough, we can’t praise you enough, and words can’t describe what you mean to us. You are all that we need, all that we want, all that we desire. Without you, our life would be meaningless. God it amazes us that you care about each and every one of us. It amazes us that you know the plans and the purpose for our life. We might all go down different roads, we might all do different things, but the things you have for each and every one of us is so great. We can’t love you enough God.
Lord let your light shine so brightly through us. Let us be the oracle for you. We might not know whose life we are impacting, but God minister through us. Help us smile at the lady in the grocery store, she might be feeling lonely and our smile is what is going to get her through. Help us laugh with our co-worker, they might be going through an incredibly difficult time, but laughter is all that they need. Help us ask our neighbor if they need prayer, they might be having marital problems, and have been searching for someone to pray for them. Help us go up to that widow, she might be incredibly lonely right now, and just needs to know that someone loves her. Lord place people in our hearts for us to pray for them. You know the young person who is crying themselves to sleep because they can’t get over their past, you know the mother who is worried about her son but who smiles to mask the pain, you know the wife whose husband is not serving you, you know everyone’s needs. Lord we don’t need to know what they are going through, but daily place people in our thoughts, people we can send cards to, people we can call, people we can email just to let them know that we are there for them and that we are praying for them. Lord help us forgive those who have wronged us. You forgave those who crucified you and so help us forgive those who have hurt us. God remove those scars that are embedded in our heart. The pains and the hurts that have built up over the years, remove them. Lord help us not to worry about the things we can not control. Help us trust in your perfect plan and will. Help us smile when we are full of sorrow. Help us laugh when we are full of pain.
Lord help us to live for you more and more each day. Let each day be a day of praise and of thanksgiving. Let us remember each day who we serve. Lord a day should not go by where we don’t devote time to you. Sometimes our work, our school, our commitments take over and we don’t give you the time you deserve. We go about our life and we forget to seek you, we forget to call you, we forget to abide in your presence. Lord help us each day carve some time out for you. Help us make you our priority. Lord help us remember that you are our master, you are our saviour, you are our helper, you are our deliverer, you are our healer, you are our rock, you are our salvation, you are our guiding light.